The Perky Man here! I’m the lucky gentlemen that The Perky Lady comes home to every day. An idea that has me smiling from ear to ear every single time. When she asked me to write a blog to guys about lingerie I jumped at the chance. We don’t get many opportunities to have such posts written from our perspective so I hope I can do the topic justice. Without further ado, let’s jump in.
The gift-giving season is upon us once again. For some among us that’s a reason to celebrate and for some others, it’s a reason to panic. If you’re not sure which of those two categories you should be in then I suggest you err on the side of caution and panic.
You may be thinking, “I got jewelry, I’m good to go.” Wrong! Let me explain…
Do you remember last March when you said that you used to enjoy sitting with your grandfather in his shop and helping him carve pieces of wood into chess pieces? No? Well, guess what, she does. How about that time that you walked through the tool aisle in Lowe’s on your way to get plants for Spring and said, “That table saw is awesome!”. Yep, she remembers that too.
You see, you thought you were just making a comment on something. The words flew out of your mouth and you moved on. What your woman heard, however, was, “I value these things and want them”. As it turns out, since she values you she noted those things and got them for you (provided the means were available to do such). You haven’t thought about those things in months. But to her, this is a huge deal where she is proving what a great listener and partner she is.
Now, back to that jewelry. I’m not badmouthing it, I’m really not. Every woman loves shiny things that her friends will ask her about and ogle over. There is no question there and I’m not here to debate the merits of that decision. What I am here to ask you, however, is what you got her that she can intimately connect to you, to your relationship. What did you get her that not only says, “I value you” but always says, “I want you”, “I choose you”, and “I desire you”?
If you answered with any of the following things I want you to go stand in the corner and think about what you’ve done.
An appliance (It was a super awesome mixer though and she loves to bake!) Nice try, no. She wears yoga pants 4 days a week and will see this mixer as the devil after the second batch of cookies. Don’t do this to you or her.
Clothes (She just loves those jeans she’s had since high school so I bought her an updated pair!) No. No matter what size you got it’s going to be too big which in turn will make her think you think she is too big. Which will drive her to use that mixer you got her. If you did this you better hope to god you didn’t get…
A knife set (So shiny, it’s like diamonds but useful!) Really? Ever heard of Lorena Bobbitt? You better Google that if this is your best.
A bowling ball with your name on it (It’s something we can do together!) Lord help you. The only thing you are going to be doing together is talking to a counselor about where it all went wrong.
So now that we have that out of the way what is my suggestion? You’re going to like my answer, and she is going to love that you bought something for you but with her in mind. It’s simple really if you think about it, lingerie.
I can hear you from here, “I’ve been married 20 years, she doesn’t care about that stuff” or “My wife shops at Walmart for underwear, I could never get her in something like that” Gentlemen, you are EXACTLY who this article is for.
To help understand this let me ask you a few basic questions about your woman. First, do you find her attractive? Of course, you do! Here’s the thing, she needs to know that too. To the 20 year guy, I say what could possibly be a better gift than, “After 20 years you still light me up like a Griswold Christmas tree!” Second, what better excuse is there to start that conversation then, “I got it for you because I think you’re gorgeous. I’m so excited to see you in it…. and out of it!” You’ll walk into the house from work to candles and Sinatra on the radio wondering what the hell is going on before she pounces on you like a lioness on a wounded wildebeest.
Now that I’ve got your interest up (and maybe some other things) where the hell do you start? Baby Dolls, Chemise, Garters, Wraps, Keyholes… It’s overwhelming, I get it. Let me help you a bit with some basics to get started that every woman will love and appreciate.
Lingerie itself comes in an amazing array of shapes, sizes, and mindsets. If your wife has nothing but beige bras and self-identifies as “mom” then maybe upgrade her to a simple silky bra and panty set. It’s practical, let’s her know how you see that rockin’ little body she’s got after 2 kids, and it makes her feel good every time she puts it on. Underpinnings change the whole outfit gentlemen, think silk boxers vs tighty whities!
Something a little more racy suite your lady’s style? Then how about a baby doll or a teddy? Give your lady an opportunity to catch you watching as she takes her stockings off her garter… If you’ve never experienced it, I promise it’s worth the price of admission. Welt Wednesday gentlemen, if you’re lucky enough to have a woman that knows what that is then congratulations and welcome to the life lottery.
Some of you are thinking this sounds great but you really have no idea what her style is. If that’s you I have two pieces of advice. First, talk to her and find out. This is an amazing opportunity to build her confidence and show an interest (while getting plenty of benefit out of it yourself) that you really shouldn’t pass on. Second, accessories…
I’ve never met a woman that didn’t like to be pampered by her man. If lingerie really isn’t her thing (I still suggest you simply haven’t found the right pieces yet) then what about a candle that doubles as massage oil? Set the mood and give a backrub? Let’s be honest, we all know what backrub means in man speak.
Want to set the tone and get her relaxed? How about some red wine and a bath? A nice bath bomb will smell amazing and leave her skin oh so touchable that she’ll want you to touch. Even if you’re not the romantic type you can clearly see the benefits of that situation.
When she’s done with her bath perhaps she wants a nice robe to slip into? Something sexy but practical and feels good against her skin? It’s hard to go wrong with loungewear that doubles as “romp-ware” every time she raises an eyebrow at you.
If all else fails and you want to send that message of how amazing that special lady is but you don’t want to jump too far out of your comfort zone then you can always go with a gift card or an upgraded VIP experience. You’re still setting the tone and letting her know exactly what’s on your mind while allowing her to go be pampered for a personal fitting and also let her shop exactly to her comfort level with friendly and knowledgeable people that will help her find what flatters her.
The Perky Lady encourages all partners to come in and get their questions answered or simply shop in private with a staff that knows their stuff. See for yourself with these alternative gift options!
Remember, the weather outside is frightful and your lady is looking for you to keep her warm. Sure you can go the easy route and go with jewelry. After all the commercials say that every kiss begins with Kay right? That’s all well and good but while kisses begin with “k”, “Oh my god” starts with a big O! Ask that special lady in your life which one she wants this Christmas.