BOOBS, its a funny word in and of itself. Breasts have more than one use. Baby-feeders (aka BOOBS) sometimes act like a separate entity on your body. In fact, BOOBS are multi-talented. Let me explain…they clearly have a sense of humor, a mind of their own, and the ability to change shape, size and look. Older women already know this but younger women have no idea what is to come. Let’s see how funny BOOBS can get…
1. They have a mind of their own and play like to play games. Just one nipple wants to make an appearance or what I like to call “Peek-a-boo”. Or how about my favorite, “Bobbing for Apples”. Its when they pop out from under your bikini or crop top.
2. Stealing the limelight for a surprise public appearance by sneaking out of arm holes in our shirts or poppin’ buttons for “free shows”.
3. BOOBS have the ability to make your nipples look like thumbs under your clothes…hmmm they weren’t there when I left for the office.
4. Nipples can also imitate a googly eyeball. One will decide to point over there somewhere on the right or left. FOR. NO. REASON.
5. BOOBS have the ability to shoot milk across a room because baby decided to sleep in. One touch of the engorged breast and there she blows.
6. Oh, and I can’t fail to mention the incredible expanding and deflating ability. After nursing, they seem fairly normal again, but when baby misses just one feeding they become watermelons… not perky little baseballs but full freaking size basketballs. I know it sounds like I’m exaggerating…but I tell no tall tales. This is a personal experience. A sight to behold!!!
7. You found what in your boobs? Yeah, they are nature’s extra set of hands. Or a built-in purse. Cell phone, snacks, hair clips, id. Unloading the car and your hands are full? No problem. Stack groceries on top. The girls will hold them up 😉
8. No longer have you learned your bra size, then boom you lose some weight. Well shit! That one is trash. Oops gained weight and now it’s just nipple covers. Where’s that damn bra I just threw out? You reach what you think is a plateau, but wait, they have changed shape…another bra trip.
9. Skip ahead a few more years..not only have those bastards change size and shape…now their consistency has changed too. Once full, now deflated. You guessed it, time to bra shop again. You come to terms that they will never look uplifted or full again. Wrong! All of a sudden they’ve perked up yet again. They look rejuvenated. BOOBS will cycle through this many times. What’s a girl to do? You gotta laugh!
10. The look on your partner’s face as they ogle them, toy with them… you get the point. You just got to laugh at how entertaining BOOBS can be. The best part is all the giggling during those times because your BOOBS won’t look the same way twice.
So the lesson here is its okay to laugh. Pay attention to them, own them, enjoy them and by all means dress them in pretty, sexy, supportive bras. Do not keep your size 32B when you are now a 36E. Get over the guilt of trashing them. Just do it.
Embrace it, laugh and have fun with it. You don’t wear the same pair of shoes every day and with everything. This is why a wardrobe of lingerie is necessary. Let a great quality properly fitting bra work for you. It can instantly make you feel sexy, confident, comfortable, powerful, and even playful. Enjoy your options!
Get properly fitted, shop your options in a small boutique (like The Perky Lady) and enjoy picking out those special pieces with your expert bra fitter. After all those little bastards have put you through…You deserve it!
If you’ve laughed at all while reading this post please share it and brighten someone else’s day!
The Perky Mama